Dudley Demented (OP)

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Harry hiding in the bushes trying to hear the news from inside the house

Dudley Demented is the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

No news

The book starts by describing the effects this year's hot summer has had on the inhabitants of Privet Drive: the drought and the excessive heat have deprived them of car-washing and lawn-mowing, and confined them to their house. All inhabitants, that is, with the notable exception of Harry Potter.

Harry lies flat on his back in a flowerbed ("Aunt Petunia's dying begonias") outside his aunt and uncle's house, hiding behind a large hydrangea bush. He appears, we are told, to have grown over summer. He finds himself in this position due to his eagerness to listen to the news.

Needless to say, Vernon and Petunia hadn't appreciated the boy's sudden interest in the Muggle world. As Mr. Dursley points out, it is highly unlikely that "his lot" would show up on the news. His presence in the living room is clearly unwelcome and frowned upon.

Harry listened intently to the telly. Mrs. Figg, the batty neighbour who lives in Wisteria Walk, ambles slowly past, frowningn and muttering to himself. She has developed the odd habit of asking Harry for tea whenever she meets him on the street, but thankfully she doesn't spot him now.

Vernon and Petunia think their son Dudley is out for tea at Piers Polkiss' house, but Harry knows better. Dudley, along with the rest of his gang, has been vandalising the play park during the summer, as well as smoking on street corners and beating up other kids. Over the last year, Dudley has become the Junior Heavyweight Interschool Boxing Champion of the Southeast, to his father's great pride.

Harry, on the other hand, has spent the entire summer so far (a month) ambling around Privet Drive, trying to read newspapers he recovers from bins in search for news of Lord Voldemort's latest movements. It is useless; even the television reports only the two-week Spanish baggage-handlers' strike, the drought in the Southeast, a helicopter that had almost crashed, and a famous actress' divorce. Finally, after hearing about Bungy the Budgie's new skills ("Bungy the Budgie has found a novel way of keeping cool this summer. Bungy, who lives at the Five Feathers in Barnsley, has learned to water ski! Mary Dorkins went to find out more."), Harry gives up on eavesdropping.

The boy doesn't understand why nothing has happened yet. It makes him extremely tense, and the lack of news from anyone in the wizarding world only helps increase his nervousness.

Every morning, he wakes up at five o'clock to pay the owl that delivers the Daily Prophet, but to no avail; none of the headlines ever regards news of Voldemort. The owls Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger send are also useless--the two appear to be in the same place, presumably The Burrow, but never say anything important or relevant, for fear that the owls will be intercepted.

Discovered

He begins to crawl from under the window when a loud crack broke the silence; a cat runs off from under a nearby car; Petunia shrieks; Vernon swears and accidentally breaks some china; Harry tries to stand and reach for his wand, but the top of his head hits the open window, scaring his aunt once more.

Harry swoons dizzily, and Vernon reaches out the window, wrapping his fingers around the boy's throat. "Put — it — away," he snarls. They struggle for a while, and Harry refuses to let go of his wand. Suddenly, the bruise on Harry's forehead throbs in a particularly nasty way, and Vernon feels an invisible force compelling him to let go. (see Wandless Magic).

Harry falls on the hydrangea bush, and fruitlessly looks around to try to find the source of the loud noise. The curious neighbours are all peeking out their windows by now; Harry quickly hides his wand. Vernon pretends it was a car backfiring and waves reassuringly to the other inhabitants of Privet Drive.

Vernon interrogates Harry about the noise, but the boy truthfully replies that he hasn't caused it. He does confirm, however, that he was lurking under the window in order to listen to the news ("Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see."). They don't believe him; moreover, they stress that he's been receiving plenty of owls lately. Harry replies that the owls aren't bringing him any news.

After snapping at Vernon, Harry turns around and leaves. He walks around the neighbourhood, sulking and wondering who had Apparated or Disapparated from the front lawn of Number Four. The sound was similar to the one Dobby makes when vanishing; but there is no one in the street behind Harry, and the house elf does not know how to make himself invisible. Harry eventually starts doubting that the sound he'd heard was extraordinary in any way; magic had probably had nothing to do with it.

Harry thinks of Ron and Hermione again, having a great time together at The Burrow, and feels outraged. He has felt resentment towards them for a while now, even throwing away, unopened, the two boxes of Honeydukes chocolate they had sent him on his birthday. In their letters, the pair claimed to be busy—why wasn't Harry busy? Hadn't he proved himself worthy of big responsibilities?

The play park

Harry turns a corner into Magnolia Crescent, passing the alleyway where he had first seen Sirius Black (PA3). This in turn makes him think about his godfather who, although clearly sympathetic towards the boy's exasperation, also says astonishingly little in his letters, merely advising him to "keep [his] nose clean, and everything will be OK". The irony of Sirius telling him this is not lost on Harry.

Harry then turns into Magnolia Road and goes to the play park, sitting on the only swing Dudley had not yet broken. He's been having nightmares about the Little Hangleton Graveyard and Cedric Diggory's death, as well as strange dreams involving long dark corridors and locked doors. His scar prickles from time to time as well, but, now that Voldemort has returned, that isn't nearly as interesting as it once was.

Harry is outraged, and extremely frustrated at the lack of attention everyone has displayed towards him. Albus Dumbledore seems to have forgotten him entirely; it probably hadn't occurred to Ron and Hermione to invite him; the Daily Prophet continued ignoring the Dark Lord's return…

Dudley's gang passes by the park, and Harry finds himself wishing that they would notice him there. Harry would gladly taunt his cousin, and provoke him. Dudley wouldn't want to lose face in front of his gang, so he would attack—and Harry would then use magic against them, despite the International Statute of Secrecy.

Harry stands up and stretches, knowing that his aunt and uncle always expect him to be home before Dudley arrives. He walks fast; halfway along Magnolia Road Dudley's gang (Piers, Malcolm, Gordon, and an unnamed boy) becomes visible again. They call him "Big D".

Harry calls out to Dudley, who turns before he noticed who had yelled. Harry quickly catches up with him, and starts teasing the boy about the new nickname. Dudley, says Harry, will always be 'Ickle Diddykins' to him, or 'Popkin' or 'Dinky Diddydums'—that's what Aunt Petunia calls him, anyhow. Harry asks whom Dudley's gang has beaten that night, and mentions that, two days prior, they had done Mark Evans.

Harry gladly continues to use Dudley as an outlet for his frustration, and the Muggle teenager gets increasingly angrier. The two turn down the aforementioned empty alleyway, which is a shortcut between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk. There are no streetlamps there, only a garage wall on one side and a high fence on the other.

The only response Dudley has to Harry's taunts is mentioning the boy wizard's night terror: he often whimpers and moans in his sleep, pleading, "Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!" "Dad! Help me, Dad! He's going to kill me, Dad!" "Mum, come and help me! He's killed Cedric!"

Pointing his wand menacingly at Dudley, Harry orders him never to bring that up again. Suddenly, Dudley gasps loudly. The sky becomes black and lightless. The streetlamps on both far ends of the alleyway disappear: the darkness is massive, impenetrable, and cold. For a second, Harry wonders whether he caused that, only to remind himself that he didn't have that amount of power.

Dudley's terrified, thinking his cousin is to blame for what's happening. Harry feels goose-bumps: he knows what's happening, but he cannot believe that Dementors would come to Little Whinging.

Dementors

The definite proof of the dark creatures' presence offers itself to him a second later: the rattling, long breath of a Dementor can be heard through the freezing air. There are at least two, one on each side of the alley.

Harry tries to get Dudley to shut up, only to be punched by the latter. The impact knocks Harry off his feet, and he drops his wand. "You moron, Dudley!" he yells, frantically feeling around to find his wand. "Where's — wand — come on — Lumos!"

The tip of Harry's wand lights up, inches from his right hand, and he stands up. He attempts twice to produce a Patronus, to no avail; only the memory of Ron and Hermione is strong enough to conjure the corporeal silvery form of a huge stag.

Harry's Patronus attacks the Dementor closest to him, and it leaves. The boy finds a second creature crouching low above Dudley, as if it were about to kiss him. Harry orders the stag to charge against it.

When the Dementor vanishes, the surroundings regain their regular appearance. Harry, drenched in sweat, takes a few moments to adapt to normality. Dudley is still on the ground whimpering.

The sound of footsteps suddenly reaches Harry's ears, and he instinctively raises his wand. When he notices that it's old Mrs. Figg, he attempts to hide the wand.

"Don't put it away, idiot boy!" she shrieks. "What if there are more of them around? Oh, I'm going to kill Mundungus Fletcher!"

Trivia

• Harry's temper is both extremely angry and angsty in this chapter, as it will be for the rest of the book—he's clearly having a teenager hormonal outburst. He yells at Vernon, Petunia and Dudley, and takes great pleasure in taunting his cousin.

• Harry now remembers the graveyard scene when the Dementors approach (and not his parents' death, as he did in the third book).