Letter:James and Narcissa

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First letter

Potter—

Let me guess: girl trouble? I honestly don't care, but I cannot help wondering what could've driven Aunt Dorea's precious little boy to get that drunk and miserable. You should know I'm not used to being dragged to the Leaky Cauldron in that sort of frenzy, nor do I appreciate having my men clearly thinking of another woman while with me.

Have the guilt and horror regarding our little escapade caught up with you yet?

—Narcissa Black

Second letter

Narcissa—

Have the guilt and horror caught up with you? I daresay that Malfoy might be slightly displeased to know where his little Cissy-darling was last night and who she was with.

If you don’t care, then don’t ask. And leave my mother out of this. If I feel the need to get a bit pissed, I can damn well do as I please. Considering the company I keep, I don’t believe that Druella or Cygnus would be too pleased to know that you volunteered to be with me. I may have been drunk, but don’t believe I dragged you anywhere.

Unless you feel the notion to have another Firewhisky with me, don’t bother to send a return-owl. I’m rather busy being drunk and miserable. Although remembering how you yelled out my name does put a smile on my face.

Best Regards —
James Potter

Third letter

Potter—

Lucius and I have called off the engagement for the time being. He's off on a business trip. But you're quite correct, the knowledge of it would disturb him. And that is why, of course, he will never find out. And if you as much as dream of uttering a word about this to anyone, I swear you'll find there are far crueller and more entertaining punishments than your infamous Hogwarts pranks.

Oh, yes, you dragged me. I'm sorry your memory of last weekend is innacurate (and it clearly is, considering that last comment of yours), but you did drag me. I hadn't had enough alcohol to give it a second thought, and I was bored.

Actually, I'm still bored. Are you drunk and miserable some place interesting (and hopefully cleaner)?

Narcissa

Fourth letter

Narcissa,

I’m currently engaging in a drinking-fest at the Hog’s Head. I am not miserable, though I am considerably drunk. As for a more interesting and cleaner establishment, I’m finding that many Slytherins tend to frequent the Hog’s Head significantly more after graduation so you should feel at home were you to stop in and have a drink with me. Right now, my companionship seems to consist of hooded and veiled faces and no one to offer to beat my chugging record. If you happened to drop in, I’d be glad to dust off your seat and personally clean your glass before you use it.

Perhaps I’ve moved from drunk and miserable to drunk and needy. Who better to call upon than the snarky, witty and impossible charming and beautiful Cissy?

Congratulations on the call-off of the engagement. You’re better off without the bastard, Pure-blood righteousness or not. Really, Narcissa, do you have a mind of your own or are you honestly willing to just take it from the Black’s vault of mentally insane and hand it over to Lucius-fucking-Malfoy? By the way, not that I’d ever consider letting our little evening of fun find its way to the gossipers, but you severely underestimate my abilities.

Drinking alone -

James

P.S. I have never in my eighteen years of life, dragged a human anywhere. Well, it depends on your definition. There was one time, in attempting to do some good, I practically had to drag a wizard in order to save his life. But that’s unimportant. And he’s a slimy git not worth discussing.

Fifth letter

Potter,

You have remarkable coherence and letter-writing skills for that drunk a man, I have to say. And your reflexes aren't bad, either, but I surely hope you refrain from letting me almost fall to the floor in that undignified a position in the future. It is most certainly not my fault if you cannot hold your drink and start swooning and feeling dizzy at the wrong times.

I could not help noticing that you did not, in fact, clean my cup. But you'd forgotten all about your letter by the time I arrived, hadn't you? Your exclamation of "CIIISSYYY! HOW AAARE YOU, YOU FILTHY SLYTHERIN TEMPTRESS?" may not have been heard in the lowest levels of the Hogwarts dungeons, but I can assure you the entire Hogsmeade village heard you loud and clear. I'm expecting a nosy letter from my sisters any time now. Thank you, Potter, really.

The idea of you "drunk and needy" is horrifying. Don't ever start crying near me. I'm unable to handle crying men; they're far too messy and unpleasant.

For your information, I happen to like Lucius, regardless of my family's approval. We just had a minor disagreement regarding his career. It's temporary, I assure you.

Fine, last night you didn't "drag" me anywhere. But you did have to drag me the first time. I'm assuming you're referring to Severus? You saved his life—oh, Potter, do you honestly expect me to believe that?


Narcissa

P.S. Andromeda's just arrived for a visit. You'd better hope this has nothing to do with you.

Sixth letter

Cissy-

Hold on, let me get one thing clear – you still talk to Dromeda? Perhaps there’s hope for you yet at having a brain of your own.

Please forgive my rudeness for not cleaning your glass as I had promised you that I would. Can a wizard be expected to contain his feelings when a witch, such as yourself, walks into a bar, such as the Hog’s Head? Luckily, I know the owner and all was forgiven for the broken table and chairs. In fact, we’re more than welcome back, if we should ever, for some strange reason, decide to meet up again.

May I suppose that the disagreement regarding the career was in reference to the Dark Arts and following a certain leader lacking any real skills? Because instilling fear and using Unforgivibles aren’t really skills, Cissy.

I won’t expect anyone to believe anything I say about Snape. The day he proves to be a real man, I’ll apologize for all the horrible things I may (or may not have) done to him. Until then, he’s nothing but a slimy git. I just happen to believe that slimy gits shouldn’t die at the hands of creatures of the night when they aren’t prepared. End of story. I really don’t want to talk about him. It’s not my fault he turned out to be the way he did. And it certainly is not only my fault that we have the relationship that we do; he is at fault as much as I am. I didn’t drive him to the Dark Arts. Look at his mother.

Anyway. I should go, this has become longer than I anticipated. Say hello to Andromeda for me. Please tell her that Sirius and I will be visiting soon.

-James

P.S. Narcissa, I know you’ll never admit anything of the conversations we had this morning, nor would you ever accept this – but thank you. Thank you for listening and thank you for being there.

Seventh letter

James,

You KNEW about Andromeda? My filthy cousin knew ALL ALONG, too? Oh, I should have guessed he would be in on this shameful, absolutely horrid affair. She decided to tell me first—Merlin knows why—and then went on to Mum's house. She would've been placed in house arrest and tortured for months, too, if that disgusting Mudblood hadn't besmirched the home of my fathers by Apparating in and rescuing her from my mother's claws.

Oh, Andromeda deserved it. How dare she? I thought that her affair with Tonks had been nothing but a brief week-long fling back at Hogwarts... and now she goes off and elopes with him? And you knew all along. YOU KNEW.

The whole family's on the warpath. Don't expect to hear from me any time soon. I can't believe you dared to kiss me with that blood-traitor mouth of yours. And I let you! What was I thinking?

Narcissa

Eighth letter

Narcissa,

I’m quite amused, because, being the arrogant prick that I am, I happen to know that you WILL be writing me back. I have no worries on not hearing from you for a while.

Of course we knew. Why wouldn’t we know? Not to flip my mouth where I shouldn't, but, since I don’t believe by this time that either Dromeda or Sirius would care – all of Dromeda and Ted's friends knew. The only reason they left town and eloped was so no Blacks would show up and ruin the perfectly wonderful and normal affair.

Cissy, darling, would be as polite as to explain to me just exactly what is wrong with Ted? Really, the fact alone of him being Muggle-born is all you need? Never mind all the qualities that make him who he is having any bearing on your family even giving him a chance, like most people take into consideration, though, right? Personally, that’s closed minded and egotistical thinking. Have you not noticed the Pure-bloods getting just a bit more stupid every generation? I won’t name any names. Or how about the fact that the Pure-blood families are beginning to thin, dwindle down, die out even. I tend to hear about a new death everyday, and I dare say that many of them are Pure-bloods.

And honestly, don’t mind the laughter that echoed the room when you called me a blood-traitor. Was this really news to you? Do you remember who my girlfriend is, has been? Did you forget that I'm a Gryffindor? If being a blood-traitor means having an open mind and liking wizards, witches, creatures and people for how they ARE rather than what they are, if it means that I believe in the REAL greater good for all (rather than that crap Grindelwald preached – if you didn’t know, he was that bad, dark lord before yours came about – you know, the one Dumbledore took out, the one that fell?). And yes, you did kiss this traitorous mouth, many times and you kissed more than that, my dear, lovely blond who is being selfish and not thinking of a world fit to raise children, to live, to work, to play to be yourself in.

I digress. I expect Dromeda’s been burned off the official family tree by now? Shame, really. I do recall seeing some mighty fine Muggle-borns and half-bloods doing some pretty damn good work in school, dark work even. But we wouldn’t want to cleanse anyone’s blood now, would we?

With a drink always waiting-
James

P.S. I can’t help but notice that as much as you hate me, you continue to come back to ‘comfort’ me as well as taking to not referring to me, or yourself, simply by our surnames.

P.P.S. I do look forward to your reply, Cissy. Please don’t keep me waiting too long. The things you’ll have to do to attain my forgiveness.

Ninth letter

James—

I don't know. I just don't know. I'm... in a very strange place right now. I don't know what brought me to you last night; I would never have deemed it possible to break down and confide in someone so unlike me, so against everything I believe and stand for. I love Lucius. I do. You understand that, don't you? He returned this morning and came to see me. His decision hasn't changed, and nevertheless I will stand by him. I will marry him, even if he is foolish enough to pursue a career that may get him killed any day now. At least I believe so. I haven't told him that yet.

I can't think. I can hardly think or breathe when the possibility of his death comes to mind and oh, James, why do men have to be so stupid?

Anyway... I know perfectly well that you are in love with a Muggle-born witch, but this is just—different. This affected my own family, and Andromeda's betrayal is nearly unthinkable. She has been, of course, burnt off the family tree. As I said to you yesterday, the Blacks are the purest and most noteworthy of old British wizarding families. How could she marry a Muggle-born? How could she think that any of us would bear to look at her face again? She polluted our family with her choice, dilluted the blood of our ancestors. Surely you understand this, even if you disagree?

As for your reply that us Pure-bloods are growing less intelligent, I fail to see what examples you have of this. Your family, though not as noble as mine, has been unblemished for centuries; do you consider yourself stupid? I know you enough to be certain that you don't. What, then? Do you mean to belittle your precious best friend's intelligence, or my own?

Cissy

P.S. Why do you even call me that anyway?

Tenth letter

Cissy,

No, I don’t understand your love for Lucius, but I realize that you do love him. It’s the same thing, you can’t understand my love for Lily but you know that I do. And I do, Cissy. No matter what you may think from events over the past week, I love Lily Evans.

Let’s get a few things straight. I don’t like Malfoy. It’s not just because of his family or because he’s deciding on a future following You-Know-Who (although those two things don’t help his defense much). He’s arrogant and conceited and yes, I realize that many say the same about me, but there’s a difference. His arrogance and conceit stem from his beliefs on blood. He honestly thinks he’s better just because of his heritage. And I’m sorry, but the biggest difference between us, Cissy - and why the only way we can have a relationship of any kind is in secret, behind closed doors and where it means something only to us although neither of us will ever admit it to even ourselves - is that I don’t approve, nor will I be a part of, discrimination. You’re welcome to your beliefs, whether they match my own or not, but I won’t be a part of active discrimination.

Sure, I can understand disgrace, Cissy. And I can even understand extreme circumstances where a family and a family member can reach a point of not supporting one another. But, no, I can’t understand disowning. I can’t understand the idea that you stop caring, stop loving a family member because of choices they’ve made for themselves. In case you’ve forgotten, it was to my house that Sirius ran away to. It was I, Narcissa, who helped him through the toughest times of his life when he became a disgrace to your family. I knew who he was on our first train ride before we were Sorted and that did not stop me from befriending him then. The oddity of him being sorted into Gryffindor didn’t make me wonder what was wrong with him, and sure, maybe that’s because I was sorted into Gryffindor as well – but the difference between me and you, and me and Lucius, is that I’m willing to give people a chance. The brightest witch in my year happened to have been a Muggle-born. How do you argue that? What great things have Muggle-borns and half-bloods brought to our lives? I’m no Seer, but I would guess that they’re born with magical ability for a reason.

My point about the thinning bloodlines for pure bloods and how stupid we are getting wasn’t directed to anyone in particular. My point was that if we only stick with ‘mating’ with pure bloods, eventually we’ll be left to marry our own siblings. Our kind has been mixing with Muggles for centuries. Maybe that doesn’t make it right, but what support can you offer me that makes it so bloody wrong? Sirius is not stupid. You are not stupid. I’ll even grant you that Lucius isn’t. He’s a true Slytherin, cunning and slimy through and through. Cunning is even a trait I could admire if used under the right circumstances. His, I can hardly stomach.

As for our families, I’m proud of mine, Narcissa. Pure-bloods we may be, but I assure you that it hasn’t been so much out of tradition as it has been for personal feelings. I believe that the Potters' last arranged marriage was long before the last Black arranged marriage and I don’t doubt for a second that your marriage to Malfoy isn’t at least half because it’s the expected thing to do. He’s pure. He has a virtuous family name and history. He has money. He’ll take care of you. He’ll show you off and treat you like the beauty that should be honored on his arm well enough. As long as you produce an heir, you have nothing to worry about for the rest of your living days. Unless, of course, Malfoy screws up with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Tell me, Cissy, what are your thoughts on him? Sirius and I are of the understanding that both Bella and Regulus have joined his crusade and become his minions. Why haven’t you? Why aren’t you gallivanting around the country killing for no reason, twisting wizard and witches' lives around all in the name of a wizard who proclaims to be the most powerful wizard alive? Do you fear him? Do you fear the future he wants for us? You’re upset that Lucius has made his decision - why? Isn’t this the stuff that your family’s dreams are made of? Tell me how you feel about birthing the Malfoy heir into a world that you’re helping create? What happens when your future child is put at risk? What happens when Lucius or your child dies? Or when you die before your child is old enough to fend for himself?

My apologies if I’ve offended you in this letter. Understand that was not my intention, I’m only trying to understand. I’ve just spent the day in Auror training being bombarded with news. I suppose your side had a good day? I’ll drink tonight, a bottle of Firewhiskey, in honor of those fallen believing in what they were fighting for. If Malfoy, Bellatrix, Regulus, you were to fall, could I still be drinking to you?

Best regards,
James

P.S. I call you that because it humanizes you. I can relate to you as Cissy more so than I can relate to the superfluous Narcissa Black that sneers on the arm of a Malfoy. You should smile more often; you’re rather beautiful when you do.

Eleventh letter

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